Brussels Sprouts.

Brussels Sprouts.  BrusselSSSS Sprouts.  Pet peeve.

Or, rotten baby cabbages.  (Grampy)

Yeah, they're weird looking.  Trader Joe's and Stop & Shop sell them in winter like this as "table decorations."  The price between these stalks and the bags of sprouts are vastly different and you get more with the stalk.

I have to owe my foray into cooking sprouts to Ina Garten.  I got her cookbook for Christmas one year and tried the recipe.  I've been perfecting mine for quite a while.  Here's how I make it, I should say.  As Julia says, recipes aren't set in stone.

Find the cast iron skillet, the circular one with the high sides.  It's probably hiding in the stove, since it won't fit anywhere and is too heavy to hang on the wall.  Make sure it's salt scrubbed, since the man forgot to clean it the last time he used it.  If it's not in the stove, it might be on it.  Or in the pantry.

Put some salt and pepper in the bottom of the skillet.  Add a tablespoon of butter and a tablespoon of bacon grease, chicken fat, duck fat, rendered beef fat, whatever.  I used to use olive oil but it doesn't hold up so well.  Melt this down slowly.

Now begin the arduous task of cleaning the sprouts up.  Small brussels sprouts are more tender and don't taste bitter when you cook them. Cut them off the stalk close to the base of the sprout.  Realize your knife is dull after a sprout or two goes flying across the kitchen, to be batted around by the cat.  Always start with a sharp knife.  If you don't know how to sharpen a knife, YouTube Julia Child and practice on a knife you don't care about.

Cut the sprouts in half, or if they're really big, in thirds or quarters.  Throw away any leaves that are yellow or have black spots on them.  They're yucky and bitter.

You can snack on the sprouts as you cut and trim.  Make sure your oil isn't burning at this point and the stove should probably be turned off.  I don't like them because they taste like rotten baby cabbages.

Take a break from trimming and chop up some dried or fresh rosemary and add to the oil, so the essence can leak out before they start to cook.

When the sprouts are done, look at the mess that has accumulated on the floor and cat.  Don't add this to the pan.

Toss the sprouts with what's in the pan.  Heat the oven to 375.  I should have probably told you that earlier.

After the sprouts have been set in the oven (you can't put them in a non-preheated oven; you just can't bake desserts in a non-preheated oven), every ten minutes or so, stir or toss them in the pan.  Try not to dribble in the oven.  Don't grab the pan without pot holders. Cast iron gets hot.

When the sprouts are browned on the outside, they're done.  I usually cook mine for about 45 minutes or until I forget about them. They're indestructable little buggers.  Take them out of the pan and put them in a bowl.

Now, I usually add either raisins or unsweetened cranberries, feta cheese or any kind of crumbly yummy goodness, and sliced or slivered almonds.  Not only does this taste fantastic all together, but it looks fancy as shit.

Enjoy.